Crunchy Mustard

So there you have it people. Crunchy Mustard is in fact real. It’s not supposed to be, (hence the theme of general absurdity for this blog) yet I have found it.

Hot Crunchy Mustard
Thick & crunchy wholegrain mustard, 170g

A sandy yellow coloured wholegrain mustard with a thick and crunchy is made using the finest Canadian mustard seed. The flavour is initially sweet with a hot, sharp mustard and horseradish backnote. Great with ham, beef and pork, or mix with mashed potato for a crunchy ‘mustard-mash’.

This product contains no added colourings or flavourings and is suitable for vegetarians, vegans & Coeliacs.

Serve: Simply combine with an oatcake and some Arran Dunlop for a great tasting snack.

Mmmmmm… oatcake and sandy yellow colored wholegrain mustard with “a thick and crunchy.” For all you vegans out there, here’s another seed product you can eat! (says the woman who loves steak.)

Why you don’t throw paperclips at coworkers

In case you were unaware… Crunchy Mustard is home to a few fishermen. “Oh?” you say in disbelief? Say no more!

From the Star-Ledger:

TOP CATCHES
Capt. Art Hilliard ran his first trip of the season with the Eagle, and tried clamming down the beach on Saturday. The Moye Equipment Co. party had a good pick of stripers, including a couple of keepers plus a 16-inch flounder on a bass rig. When that slowed, Hilliard tried a few spots on Flynn’s Knoll, where more shorts and another keeper were hooked. Ryan Ciocca of Philadelphia took the pool with a 31-inch striper.

Just to clarify, I caught the flounder. THAT’S RIGHT! ON A BASS RIG! Holy smokes. Christian caught a keeper, while Ryan clearly won the prize. This is what he had to say:

Ryan (12:20:48 AM): I am the best fisherman in all of the world
Lara (12:21:31 AM): yup
Lara (12:22:08 AM): you caught the biggest one all day
Lara (12:22:17 AM): out of all the boats that reported
Ryan (12:23:35 AM): ergo, why i am the master fisherman
Lara (12:23:40 AM): right

Ahoy Matey!

As of recently, I’ve been sleeping deeper sleeps
and I’ve been dreaming more vivid or graphic dreams.
As far as I can tell, I am not on any halucenogens, drugs,
or any other wacky stuff. Unless of course, it’s being
slipped to me without my knowing it. But I highly doubt that.
Anyway, it’s been getting harder for me to wake up,
and i’m usually one to wake up easily without any troube.

Last night, I had an unusual dream. I was in a fictitious town/small city.The details were so….detailed. The sense of actually being there was so real.

Apparently it was somewhere in the middle of Kansas but at the same time it was somewhere on the west coast. Skyscapers and city folk. It was so full of colors and life. I even had a chat with a mounted policeman and his horse. Not that the horse spoke, but he was there too and I thought I should mention him.

There was something so familiar to me. I knew this town. I’ve been here before. In another dream, less than two years ago. And then I realized it, I was in my own dream. I tried pinching myself (cliche I know) but alas it didn’t work. Nonetheless, I knew for certain that I was in my own dream. I had finally done it. After trying for God knows how long, I’ve realized that I’m in a dream in my own dream. So I started to walk around and then…blank….switched to another dream waking up not too long afterwards. Now I’ll try to master the environment of my dreams and see what else I can do.

A new concept has been born. The website “Famousr” features simple game of wit… a binary battle, if you will.

Well. It’s really not that complicated. All you have to do is pick which celebrity is FAMOUSR! Who knew Reese Witherspoo was famousr than Jenna Jameson?

Famousr also features a “Who Is ‘That Guy’?” section. Put a name on your favorite d-list celebrity - “that guy” you just can’t seem to remember.

“The Landlord.” Read the rest of this entry »

Let it be known that this is my official review of Betty Crocker’s “Warm Delights” microwavable cake.

I had the fortunate opportunity to sample “Hot Fudge Brownie.” This is just one of the seven irresistible varieties which include:

• Hot Fudge Brownie
• Molten Chocolate Cake
• Molten Caramel Cake
• Peanut Butter Fudge Brownie
• Fudgy Chocolate Chip Cookie
• Cinnamon Swirl Cake
• Lemon Swirl Cake

Now, I’m sure you’re saying, “Microwavable fudge brownie cake!? No way!” But let me assure you, making cake is now easier that cooking up some Easy-Mac. Cut open the little packet of flour mix, add one tablespoon and one teaspoon of water, microwave on high for forty-five seconds, and you’re set! Squeeze on the provided fudge icing and watch it melt. Why bother cooking anything the real way now?

As a Senior, I currently attend M. High School. Today the nation-wide event “Day of Silence” took place across high school and college campuses every where. To preface this article, I want to make it clear that I do not have qualms with gays or anything of that sort. I respect all human beings that walk this earth.

In response to this event, I had previously voiced my disagreement by creating a Facebook group here (entitled “There are more things to go silent an entire day for…”) and had all along decided to respectfully observe the day as it happened. Last night, my sister and I also decided to cut around 80 orange “remembrance” ribbons for the murder-victims of Virginia-Tech with small safety-pins to hand out to any student who wanted to wear one.

This morning, the Gay-Straight alliance club and their supporters almost gleefully took to the high school hallways with their outfits doused in black and attached pink 6×4 index cards with a folded ribbon detailing their mission. Read the rest of this entry »

Welcome to Crunchy Mustard. We are currently in a stage of infancy. I will have some more photos and content up soon.

ENJOY. And be merry too. I still think we should push back Christmas to extend the season.

And now I present, another complimentary Monty Python episode from the Ministry of Silly Walks:

My personal contribution to the ministry:

It’s one thing we all love and cherish, no matter what.

White Cheddar Popcorn. It is so delicious, one cannot help but consume more. And more. I’m not a big fan of junk foods anymore. Though, I’d hardly call White Cheddar Popcorn junk. I do not buy bags of it each day. Perhaps a bag every couple of months. I dare not take more for fear of taking it for granted, thus, losing its value and appreciation.

Its taste is unlike that of anything else. Buy white cheddar from the store. Tastes almost nothing like it. There is no substitute for a substitute, especially when it is far better then what it has been substituting.

However, one thing about this delicacy bothers me. Those little flakes inside the popcorn. You know of what I speak. And it gets in your throat. Sometimes not even, it gets stuck on your tongue and there’s nothing you can do about it no matter how many fingers you shove down the back of your throat. It is so irritating. You try to gargle it out, but it hardly budges, stuck on to your tongue with a vacuum seal. Takes hours for something to finally give and its out. But wait….you have a craving for more. Nevermind the agony you were just in, it’s WHITE CHEDDAR POPCORN. Bedazzled by its smell, your mouth waters at the very thought of its taste. If this isn’t a metaphor for life, I don’t know what is.