Crunchy Mustard

As soon as I returned home from my two week dance workshop, my mom told me I had received my “first assignment from Barnard.” I didn’t even care if it was an assignment - I was just ecstatic to receive a package from the school of my dreams.

I took the contents out of the package, and picked up my “complimentary” copy of The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls. Neatly pasted to the inside cover was a small message from Barnard offering me my first alumna novel. I’m sure it will be one of many.

I finished the book in about a week, easily… Besides the fact that I’m going to get to meet this amazing woman during orientation week and ask her about her life after I’ve read it, I don’t think I could have loved reading this book anymore. It was simply fantastic.

The Glass Castle is a memoir detailing the life and childhood of Jeannette Walls. A bit like Grapes of Wrath, yet written from the perspective of an extremely intelligent young girl and much more compelling, this book will draw so very many different emotions out of you. It was a fast-paced read; the plot never stopped rolling through Jeanette’s struggle against her ambitious (yet drunken father), the numerous faults of society she faced daily, and her attempt at growing up as an awkward child trying to set a place for herself in the world.

The fantastic bit about this memoir was the chapter in which Jeannette arrives in New York City and applies to Barnard. I couldn’t be more proud of my school.

So, if you need a summer read that will make you stay up until 4am because you can’t put the book down… I suggest The Glass Castle. I can’t wait to meet Ms. Walls, and I’ll be sure to fill you all in.

Just read this bit off of the Fox News wesbite. He should have used the old “My dog ate my brakes. I couldn’t stop. Really.”

The chase, carried live on several local TV stations, ended with the driver pulling over and officers tackling him.

[…]

The man appeared to have blood on his head as officers led him away after the chase ended in Richardson, off busy Highway 75 just north of Dallas.

The man told reporters at the scene that his cat was dying and he was rushing to get the animal to a veterinarian. When asked why he didn’t stop, the driver said he was hoping that pursuing officers would quit following him.

The sad thing is, this guy may actually be telling the truth and assuming that its ok to run from police when your cat is sick.

Times Online has named the 50 worst celebrity baby names. (Actually, it’s entitled the 50 “craziest” baby names, but you be the judge of their quality.) I’ve picked a few of the most creative from the list.

Princess Tiamii: Jordan (pictured right) and Peter Andre - “We love it because it’s unique, plus it means something special to us. I’m going to get a tattoo on the back of my neck with a crown and ‘Princess’ underneath.”

Pilot Inspektor: Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf

Moon Unit: Frank Zappa, also father to Dweezil and Diva Muffin

Audio Science: Shannyn Sossamon

Camera: Arthur Ashe and Jeanne Moutoussamy

Fuchsia: Sting and Frances Tomelty

Hopper: Sean Penn and Robin Wright

Kal-El Coppola: Nicholas Cage (Kal-El is Superman’s original birth name)

Memphis Eve: Bono

Moxie CrimeFighter: Penn Jillette (also father to Zolten)

Ocean: Forest Whitaker (also father to Sonnet and True)

Pilot Inspektor: Jason Lee and Beth Riesgraf

Poppy Honey: Jamie and Jules Oliver (also parents to Daisy Boo)

Rocket: Robert Rodriguez (also father to Racer, Rebel and Rogue)

Rufus Tiger: Roger Taylor also father to Tiger Lily and Lola Daisy

Saffron Sahara: Simon and Yasmin Le Bon (also parents to Amber Rose and Tallulah Pine)

Sage Moonblood: Sylvester Stallone and Sasha Czack (also parents to Seargeoh)

Is the population of crazy people willing to name their kids after car parts and fruit equally distributed? Or does it take a special breed of celebrity?

Ok. I know I have a cat obsession this week… but I just have to put up a photo from I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? on here!

Apparently, the website’s name is based off an internet forum spoof and this website. But who cares? It’s funny.

I give you: Buddah Cat.

Breaking off from my last post about the death kitty, Oscar, I present to you a showcase of fantastic cat sites on the web. (An my own cute ones.)

First up: The Daily Kitten.
“The Daily Kitten publishes a new kitten picture every day at 3.07pm GMT, (10.07am EST). We hope you enjoy it.” And they really do. Like little kittens much? This site will have you “awwwing” for hours. Check out my submission from when Chikilini was a kitten.

Taking a turn towards the more hilarious, we have: Stuff on my Cat. Do you like to put stuff on your cat? So do we, show us some love and head over to our submissions page to find out how to send us a picture! … – Mario. This website is simply hilarious. There’s photos of cats with hoodies, cat’s with beers, cat’s with hats! Just check it out.

And finally, the more sinister: My Cat Hates You.
Started in 2000, we proudly present you the largest collection of sour-faced, indignant felines on the Internet. This website is equally hilarious. Check some kitties at their worst moments.

So which one would you submit your cat to?

UPDATE! I nearly forgot the fantastic I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?. This hilarious site features photos of cats and kittens in various situations with funny captions attached. You have to check it out.

At the Steere House Nursing and Rehabilitation Center, when Oscar shows up, you know it’s time to die.

Apparently, the cat has a sort of sixth sense as to when patients are going to die. He’ll curl up next to them during their final hours, and then stay with them as they pass on.

His accuracy is astounding: after being observed in 25 correct cases, nurses will call family members once he has chosen someone to let them know that it is time. According to Oscar, this means they have less than four hours to live.

“He doesn’t make too many mistakes. He seems to understand when patients are about to die,” said Dr. David Dosa in an interview. He describes the phenomenon in a poignant essay in Thursday’s issue of the New England Journal of Medicine.

“Many family members take some solace from it. They appreciate the companionship that the cat provides for their dying loved one,” said Dosa, a geriatrician and assistant professor of medicine at Brown University.

Oscar would make his own rounds just like the staff of the facility. He sniffs and observes patients, then sits beside those who he thinks will die in a few hours.

Doctors say most of the people who get a visit from the sweet-faced, gray-and-white cat are so ill they probably don’t know he’s there, so patients aren’t aware he’s a harbinger of death. Most families are grateful for the advanced warning, although one wanted Oscar out of the room while a family member died. When Oscar is put outside, he paces and meows his displeasure.

[…]

Oscar recently received a wall plaque publicly commending his “compassionate hospice care.”

Earlier this year in April, right after I was accepted to Barnard, I met up with Lindsey at the accepted students weekend there. We had a blast together, and found out that we both:

• Don’t see the logic in keeping an ultra-neat room.
• Enjoy performing (her: theater/Broadway, me: dance!)
• Are certainly outgoing and love the city (NYC) and all it has to offer.

So voila! A roommate match was born. We’ve been keeping in touch during the summer (of course we planned our room theme thank you) and we’ve both been keeping busy.

With the help of her boyfriend’s father, Lindsey and Alex both work at Playbill. But… this is no ordinary desk job! I present to you: Playbill: Video. The fantastic duo does a great job reporting on a variety of theatrical events along with their friend Noah. Check out their feature on Shakespeare in the Park and all of their extremely professional features. (They’re naturals.)

I’m an avid eater of all things fruity and sweet. My mother brought up my sister and I on a wide variety of healthy fruits and vegetables, which of course we still love - especially during the summer time.

So, if anyone else out there likes to chomp down on a nice piece of watermelon like I do and is as unwieldy with a knife as I am, you’ll know it’s always a battle to cut and eat a nice slice of seedless watermelon.

That’s where the ingenious “How-to” wiki comes in. Who knew that by cutting off the top of the watermelon, standing it on end, and slicing along the dark strips on the outside of the watermelon, you’d get pieces with the seeds on the outside, making them easier to pick out?

More of a visual person? They’ve got photos too.

Next up: How to Make Caffeine Jello Shots, How to Make a Citizen’s Arrest, and How to Make Mayonnaise.

In case you’re not a regular of the celebrity blogosphere: Lindsay Lohan’s “sober” butt has been busted again.

Lohan was busted for driving under the influence again this morning in Santa Monica. The police department says that she was involved in some sort of car chase with a Cadillac Escalade, while she was driving a Denali. She was first busted for driving with a suspended license. THEN she failed the booze test AND THEN (TMZ reports) cocaine was found in the pockets of her pants. Her blood alcohol level was apparently between .12 and .13, WAY WAY over the .08 legal limit.

Her bail was set at $25,000 and she was quickly released.

ALSO: Apparently the alcohol detector she was wearing was a fake (or so TMZ says.) The anklet had nothing to do with her arrest.

To top it all off, her court date for this DUI was set for this morning while the DUI she was busted for around Memorial Day is this afternoon. OH NO! Her attorney said this:

“Addiction is a terrible and vicious disease. Since Lindsay transitioned to outpatient care, she has been monitored on a SCRAM bracelet and tested daily in order to support her sobriety. Throughout this period, I have received timely and accurate reports from the testing companies. Unfortunately, late yesterday I was informed that Lindsay had relapsed. The bracelet has now been removed. She is safe, out of custody and presently receiving medical care.”

Just don’t get in the car next time Lindsay… that’s just plain stupidity.

Main Source: DListed

Here’s a bizarre find: a chorus line of more than 1,500 inmates of the Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center, Cebu, Philippines performing Thriller. (However, the poster of this video on YouTube (byronfgarcia) insists this is only a practice run.)

The Cebu Provincial Detention and Rehabilitation Center has a fine history of fantastically large singing and dance productions showcasing their rapists, thieves, killers, and tax-evaders. Looks like someone spent quite a bit of time on this bit of choreography along with the inmates.