Crunchy Mustard

As promised, I’m back again for, yet, another blog.

As I was traveling home from work, a few days ago, by means of the subway (metro), I noticed something peculiar. Or, rather someone. It was a leprechaun. I couldn’t believe me eyes. I thought to myself, this is rediculous…leprechauns don’t exist.I could hear my train leaving the station, so I pursued my mysterious friend.

He must have noticed me. After a while, he had stopped. Turned around. Looked right at me. I nearly lost control of all bodily functions. “What??” he asked. I replied, “You’re a leperchaun.” I had just heard another train come and go. There was no way I was going to pass this up.

- Excuse me?
- A leprechaun. You’re a leprechaun.
- Yes I am, or has it ever occured to you that I may be vertically challenged?
Piss off.
- I don’t think so…you’re not going to fool me that easily.
I know about you and your mischievous ways.
- Fine. You win, son. I’m a leprechaun. Are you happy now?
- I knew you were a leprechaun the whole time. I’m just
curious as to what you’re doing here.
- Well if you must know, it’s really not of your business.
Now please stop harassing me or I shall call the police.
- Oh really? Because I’m sure you’re here legally.
I’m just curious as to what you’re doing here, in the subway of all places.
- Good heavens, the misses and I, you see, we’ve been having a bit o’ trouble.
Me cousin had suggested we take a break. Go on vacation separately, you know?
We agreed. And so I went on a vacation. I was on a small secluded beach on the far ends
of the earth, Where the sun never sets and rainbows are oh so common. Me wife and I agreed to go our ways for two weeks. After a week in this paradise, I got so sick of not seeing her I had to return. With a snap of me fingers and the click of me heels i was back in my home. Ah the smell of the grass and the singing of the birds, like no other place on earth. Anyways, I walk into the house in search of some food. So I head to the kitchen and what do i see? Me wife with my cousin. Me own cousin, I couldn’t believe it. I was furious. Never have I felt such anger. So angry, I was, I cursed me cousin in a such way, I won’t even begin to describe. So I packed me bags and I came to New York.
- Why New York?
- I’ve always wanted to see the Big Apple, besides do you know how large the leprechaun community, here, is?
-What?
- Oh you best believe it, boy. Also I’ve always wanted to be an actor. You know, on the stage. Broadway. Big lights, opening nights, cast parties and shakespeare…oh he was a fine fellow, young William.
-Holy *!&@$^, you knew Willia..
Hey! give me back my metrocard!
-Hee Hee, Hee, you can’t catch me.

Before got in another word, the little runt sprinted away. Fast little man. But I was faster. Or so I thought. I was running just behind him. Ready to grab him by the neck. BAM!
I ran into the wall. He ran right through it and into the poster! I knew I couldn’t trust him.
Bloody Leprechaun. Angry, Puzzled, Embarrassed. I picked myself up and headed home. There was, after all, nothing I could do. Later on, I realized that it was me. I was the leprechaun. I was the mischievous creature whom I had chased after. I was chasing myself. I had deceived myself without even realizing it.