So election day is rolling around this Tuesday and as an American it is my civic duty to make a decision on not only which rich white man will win our various national and local seats, but some very pressing “PUBLIC QUESTIONS TO BE VOTED UPON” as well.
These are my favorite; all they require is a simple yes or no. It makes me seem like I’m actually making a difference, although I’m nearly positive it doesn’t matter whether or not I personally approve the $450 million stem cell research bond issue.
As any registered voter knows (at least in the U.S.) one will receive a preview of what the ballot is going to look like when you walk into that little booth. Everything is laid out plain and simply, so you can remember where to put your finger (genius). Scanning down the list of “QUESTIONS TO BE VOTED UPON” my mother quickly instructed me to “vote no to everything” as it only means more ridiculous tax money from my parents sent to the failing urban centers and ridiculously corrupt New Jersey government.
On to the questions…
Number 1: More property tax; no thank you. Number 2: $450 for stem cell research; let the pharmaceutical companies do it. Number 3: Green Acres, Farmland Blue acres, and Historic preservation bond act of 2007; ok fine, this one is legit.
AND FINALLY:
State Question No. 4
Constitutional amendment concerning the right to vote for certain persons.
Shall the amendment of Article II, Section I, paragraph 6 of the Constitution agreed to by the Legislature revising the current constitutional language concerning denial of the right to vote by deleting the phrase “idiot or insane person” and providing instead that a “person who has been adjudicated by a court of competent jurisdiction to lack the capacity to understand the act of voting” shall not enjoy the right of suffrage, be adopted?
Dude, you’re an idiot, you can’t vote.
Merriam-Webster has chosen the ever popular phrase of exclamation, “Woot!” as their Word of the Year. 
