Lara declared:

Geek Chic

Monday, June 18th, 2007 at 1:47 pm

americanapparel.pngDoes this advertisement look attractive to you? Does it make you want to wear glasses that don’t fit right? Does it make you want to throw on that pretty-average t-shirt and scream: I AM A NERD!

Well. I’m not quite sure what it says, but it does not suggest attractiveness.

American Apparel has been long known for their hideously ugly photos which tend to seem like amateur porn shoots (including bruises and stretch lines) of their models. My trouble is… where is the appeal? Sure the thought that this is shock advertising can be thrown out there.

Honestly? The initial shock that I receive only makes me click on the link and to decide to never buy the actual item.

Good work American Apparel.

Oh, and go read some “real” marketing analysis of AA here. And some more on the porn bit here:

Have you heard of American Apparel? Spreading fast, it is, opening multiple open-aired clean-cut brand-free stores across the nation and across five countries and they are, apparently, a big hit with hot urban chicks and lesbians and DJs and club kids and sporty types and grungy ’70s-inspired dudes who like to wear floppy hair and multiple layers of really simple clothing covered by nicely made hoodies of various primary colors, all without actually thinking they’re attaching themselves to a brand or a logo or a “look,” even though, of course, they very much are.

American Apparel. It was founded and is run by a talented and sexually nutty and increasingly notorious, mutton-chopped, ’70s-happy 36-year-old dude named Dov Charney, one of the more unique and controversial and libidinously open CEOs in all of corporate America, unafraid and unabashed and just a little greasy (click here to see a video interview with Charney, via Lou Dobbs).

And Dov, well, he happily indulges in consensual sexual relationships with members of his staff, and he uses tons of raunchy language in the workplace and posts old shots from Penthouse magazine up in his stores to complement the racy retro hipster club-kid design aesthetic, all despite a slew of sexual-harassment lawsuits now winging his way, fast.

Charney takes many of the company’s beautifully racy ad photos himself. He encourages a sexually open workplace atmosphere. He works not at all to hide his predilections, and most people claim he has never done anything that hasn’t been fully consensual, out in the open.

It still doesn’t make me want to buy the shirt (or glasses?) It just makes me feel dirty.

Lara declared:

No More Froot Loops

Thursday, June 14th, 2007 at 2:54 pm

kellogg-features-400c.jpgSnap, Crackle, Done! The Kellog company, which made the cereals you loved as a kid (or your children currently eat now), has officially stated that they would phase out advertising its products to children under age 12 unless the foods meet specific nutrition guidelines for calories, sugar, fat, and sodium. Kellog also stated that they would discontinue the use of licensed characters or branded toys to promote their foods unless they passed those certain guidelines as well.

Has hell frozen over? Will Toucan Sam be NO MORE?!

Sadly, this is true. These voluntary changes to be made by Kellog will wipe out Rice Krispies (I KNOW! Right?! Apparently, too much sodium), Cocoa Krispies, Apple Jacks, Honey Smacks, and finally… Froot Loops. Strangely enough, the two cereals that actually make the cut are Frosted Flakes and Rice Krispies with Real Strawberries. However, the aforementioned cereals in fact DO have a chance if they undergo reformulation that does not affect the taste.

If the product cannot be reformulated, it will either be marketed towards the 12 and over crowd, or will simply not be advertised at all.

toucan_sam.pngThis move is voluntary, and you may wonder why Kellog would make a move like this. Apparently, the threats of a lawsuit by two advocacy groups for children against Viacom prompted Kellog to reevaluate their situation. Kellog will now include a small “nutrition at a glance” section at the top of each box highlighting the amount of calories, sugar, and more.

Hmph. I prefer my sugar-coated, alien-colored, milk-melting Froot Loops thank-you-very-much!

Source: NYTimes Thursday Edition.

Lara declared:

Oh, Paris.

Tuesday, June 12th, 2007 at 8:56 pm

paris-drunk-collapse.jpgI returned home this afternoon after a trip to the upper west side to my FUTURE college (go Bears… haha, like we actually get our feet dirty playing sports) AND picked up a copy of the Daily News. I’d usually pick up my daily dose of Page Six from the Post, but I was too late and the super market doesn’t like it when you shop late.

So, I flipped through, of course breezing past some of the world’s true problems, and went straight to the day’s Paris Hilton spread. This is day 7 (just in case you weren’t aware) and apparently Paris Hilton has come out that she believes she’s all spiritual and crap. As I’m sure you read and saw, Paris was toting Bibles and books of faith everywhere right after she was sentenced to jail. (And of course she held the title side out so that all the paparazzi would see.)

She made the following statements on the View (my show of choice):
“I used to act dumb it was an act and that act is no longer cute. I do not want to be that person for the young girls that looked up to me. I am 26 and it’s a different time. God has given me this new chance.” THEN: “My spirit or soul did not like the way I was being seen and that’s why I was sent to jail. God has released me.” She plans to do quite a bit of charity work when she is released as well.

Oh, Paris.

Lara declared:

Good DIY

Thursday, June 7th, 2007 at 12:06 pm

Need to get rid of your iPod? Don’t recycle! Blend! (Naturally).

P.S. This is just as safe as blending up a crow bar.

Lara declared:

U 4 Prez… Yo…

Tuesday, June 5th, 2007 at 9:56 pm

u4prez_1.pngYesterday I clicked through an interesting ad declaring… “Run for President of the United States.” I said to myself, “Ok. People love me. I’ll totally win!”

The site loaded and a shabby design appeared. A small line detailed:

Welcome to U4prez.com - 06/04/2007 09:06 pm
The site that lets anyone run for president of the United States of America. To begin your campaign just register with your platform. Register by clicking here.

Each day a new runoff occurs in which two users battle against each other… to become ruler of the free world. Yesterday’s runoff was between Reflection and Ruben. Wow.

Name: Ruben Aragon
Age: 17
Location: Albuquerque, United States of America
My favorite president: John F. Kennedy
My worst president: James K. Polk
My number 1 issue: Enviorment
What I would do if president: Energy Independance
Bio: I’m pretty average in that I love video games and surfing the web. Movies are a definate interest of mine and I’m hoping to one day work on them. I enjoy building Models, listening to music(country and classic rock)

Excusing the fact that Ruben is no where near the age to win the presidency (35 years old), I think his love for video games and the internet are admirable traits. Reflection, on the other hand, is where it’s at. He’s got his stuff down:

Name: Michael Billy
Age: 19
Location: Pittsburgh, United States of America
My favorite president: Thomas Jefferson
My worst president: LBJ, FDR, Bush, Reagan… Everyone after 1880
My number 1 issue: War on Drugs
What I would do if president: Promote Liberty
Soundbite: America has strayed from the path the Founding Fathers laid before it. It is time to get back on that path. Freedom will follow. http://www.rottingnation.com

Promote Liberty. I like that. His soundbite is a gem too.

So go run for President and change the world while you’re at it. I’ll vote for you. U4Prez.com.

Lara declared:

I prefer active aggression

Wednesday, May 23rd, 2007 at 3:44 pm

spitinmine_1_1.jpgHow many times has someone come at you with a “thanks for understanding,” “no offense,” or an “I appreciate it” to add that extra passive punch to coat their direct insult? My favorite passive aggressive notes are the business kind - a place where someone must be extremely polite (especially towards a customer) but would rather rip out their insides.

The extremely witty blog “passive-aggressive notes from roommates, neighbors, coworkers and strangers” showcases a fantastically superb selection of these gems. Here are a few of the best:

I spit in mine.
PLEASE STOP STEALING FOOD! (I spit in mine! Enjoy!) And I want my nice tupperware back!!!)

Go home Sally Perfect. Unless you want it to be eaten, don’t put your $30 organic Mediterranean Ahi Salad in your fancy tupperware in the office fridge.

petercookies_1.jpgAnd another good chuckle:

“That’d be great.”
Peter - I’m not too happy with your inability to provide me with some cookies. If we could fix this situation, that’d be great. Thanks, Jon.

Lara declared:

Foot Fury

Friday, May 11th, 2007 at 6:00 am

So I’m minding my own business - grabbing a midnight snack before bed when “Thwack!” … I’ve done it again.

Understand this: I am not your casual toe-stubber. I do not bang my foot just because that damned dresser moved itself there - my toe moves to the door that is swinging out before me on purpose!

I swear. My foot is out to get me. It wants to do me malice and harm. Funny you say? Not so funny when you feel those shooting needles up your ankle. It’s like nails on a chalk board, or that annoying sound a straw makes when you pull it in and out of the top… you know what I’m talking about.

Getting to the point: this is not a quarterly-year occurrence. It’s EVERY week. And every week my foot meets the fury that is my:

  • door frame
  • dresser
  • book case
  • desk base
  • bed post
  • kitchen cabinet

In fact, right at this very moment I am recoiling in my third episode this month. I am a professional toe-stubber.

For the love of God “toe-stub-God-master.” For the love of God…

Lara declared:

Scotland Loves Crunchy Mustard

Monday, April 30th, 2007 at 7:47 pm

So there you have it people. Crunchy Mustard is in fact real. It’s not supposed to be, (hence the theme of general absurdity for this blog) yet I have found it.

Hot Crunchy Mustard
Thick & crunchy wholegrain mustard, 170g

A sandy yellow coloured wholegrain mustard with a thick and crunchy is made using the finest Canadian mustard seed. The flavour is initially sweet with a hot, sharp mustard and horseradish backnote. Great with ham, beef and pork, or mix with mashed potato for a crunchy ‘mustard-mash’.

This product contains no added colourings or flavourings and is suitable for vegetarians, vegans & Coeliacs.

Serve: Simply combine with an oatcake and some Arran Dunlop for a great tasting snack.

Mmmmmm… oatcake and sandy yellow colored wholegrain mustard with “a thick and crunchy.” For all you vegans out there, here’s another seed product you can eat! (says the woman who loves steak.)

Lara declared:

WHAMMY!

Friday, April 27th, 2007 at 6:07 pm

Why you don’t throw paperclips at coworkers

Lara declared:

Your Will Ferrell Video of the Day

Friday, April 20th, 2007 at 3:47 pm

“The Landlord.” Read the rest of this entry »