Crunchy Mustard

It’s late one night and two Dutch architects are sitting at the table, sharing a case of beer. After lamenting over the world’s state of affairs, and the fact that their home land is drowning, an epiphany occurs.

One friend says to the other, “We’re spending millions of dollars building dikes that fail… and this global warming we’re-all-going-to-die-issue is knocking on our door. Why not make houses that just float!”

And there you have it. I’m watching the Discovery Channel’s Building the Future: “21st Century Shelter” People of different regions of the world combat earthquakes, floods, storms and other natural disasters.

The show featured one women who’s entire life sits in one small floating home. It cost around $350,000 and looks rather modern and trendy.

So, like any web-savvy citizen, I hopped on Google to find out more about this ingenious innovation. I found an article from the Christian Science Monitor that gave a few more details about the home. The model in this picture here is the same as the Dutch woman’s.

It’s called amphibious housing - structures built on land that rise and fall with the water level. They’re even planning to construct a 400-foot floating hotel in Dubia on the Persian Gulf. As if a floating hotel weren’t enough, the building will be constructed as a giant cylinder which will rotate about its base every six hours offering guests an unobstructed view of the city’s skyline.

This gives a whole new meaning to that “Where am I?” feeling after you wake up from a two hour nap.

“Honey, the building’s just rotated.

Yesterday I clicked through an interesting ad declaring… “Run for President of the United States.” I said to myself, “Ok. People love me. I’ll totally win!”

The site loaded and a shabby design appeared. A small line detailed:

Welcome to U4prez.com - 06/04/2007 09:06 pm
The site that lets anyone run for president of the United States of America. To begin your campaign just register with your platform. Register by clicking here.

Each day a new runoff occurs in which two users battle against each other… to become ruler of the free world. Yesterday’s runoff was between Reflection and Ruben. Wow.

Name: Ruben Aragon
Age: 17
Location: Albuquerque, United States of America
My favorite president: John F. Kennedy
My worst president: James K. Polk
My number 1 issue: Enviorment
What I would do if president: Energy Independance
Bio: I’m pretty average in that I love video games and surfing the web. Movies are a definate interest of mine and I’m hoping to one day work on them. I enjoy building Models, listening to music(country and classic rock)

Excusing the fact that Ruben is no where near the age to win the presidency (35 years old), I think his love for video games and the internet are admirable traits. Reflection, on the other hand, is where it’s at. He’s got his stuff down:

Name: Michael Billy
Age: 19
Location: Pittsburgh, United States of America
My favorite president: Thomas Jefferson
My worst president: LBJ, FDR, Bush, Reagan… Everyone after 1880
My number 1 issue: War on Drugs
What I would do if president: Promote Liberty
Soundbite: America has strayed from the path the Founding Fathers laid before it. It is time to get back on that path. Freedom will follow. http://www.rottingnation.com

Promote Liberty. I like that. His soundbite is a gem too.

So go run for President and change the world while you’re at it. I’ll vote for you. U4Prez.com.

In the video above Hasselback absolutely puts Rosie in her place on The View. Rosie can’t even answer her own questions and she throws out all the classic short stops: “Big fat lesbian Rosie,” “Iraq didn’t attack us,” and in her final blunder she stoops so low as to call Elisabeth a coward. In the end, she’s completely embarrassed and put in her place.

Are you feeling rather down? Do you need a small pick me up from your favorite Chinese cookie? Look NO FURTHER:

Enjoy the joy of unFortunate. Read inspiring custom-crafted fortune cookies including such classics as:

• If you can do the robot, you can sneak into robot dance clubs.
• You will make many friends (in bed).
• You will invent a humorous toilet lid.
• If a cat pisses on your futon, piss on his bed.
• You will be aroused by a shampoo commercial.
• When life gives you ham, make hamonade.

unFortunate offers fun for the whole family. You can even print your custom creations right from your home printer. WOW! Enjoy unFortunate’s super Web 2.0 ish design and create away.

While signing up for a Last.fm account (great stuff program) I stumbled upon “mypictr.” It’s this nifty little tool that lets you upload any photo of yourself no matter the size. Then, you can use their zoom and crop tool to select the part of the photo you want exactly.

Now you don’t have to worry anymore about opening up a graphic editor and waiting ten minutes for it to load. Just upload, crop, and download.

The site will crop pictures at any size for ALL of the major networks out there. You can also cut photos for popular message board types or choose the standard 64×64.

So go check out my new Last.fm account, sign up for yourself, and check mypictr out

So I stopped by The Pop!Tech Blog and found this bit: Organic Tee Shirt to support Architecture for Humanity.

Now I ask you. How does one create an organic t-shirt? Cotton sure… but doesn’t that go through… mechanical things? Therefore making the sense that it is “organic” null and void? (I like using that phrase. Null AND void.)

I guess they must be organic because they’re $75 A PIECE! Albeit (that’s another good one too) they’re for a good cause (100% of the proceeds are going to Katrina charity)… but when was the last time you paid $75 for something like that? Oh right, that certified organic fruit basket you picked up at Trader Joe’s last week. Tool.

The creator says this t-shirt is for “eco-warriors, hipsters and all round nice folk.” I’m neither of those three. Maybe.

And as this post title begs… can you eat the t-shirt?

So there you have it people. Crunchy Mustard is in fact real. It’s not supposed to be, (hence the theme of general absurdity for this blog) yet I have found it.

Hot Crunchy Mustard
Thick & crunchy wholegrain mustard, 170g

A sandy yellow coloured wholegrain mustard with a thick and crunchy is made using the finest Canadian mustard seed. The flavour is initially sweet with a hot, sharp mustard and horseradish backnote. Great with ham, beef and pork, or mix with mashed potato for a crunchy ‘mustard-mash’.

This product contains no added colourings or flavourings and is suitable for vegetarians, vegans & Coeliacs.

Serve: Simply combine with an oatcake and some Arran Dunlop for a great tasting snack.

Mmmmmm… oatcake and sandy yellow colored wholegrain mustard with “a thick and crunchy.” For all you vegans out there, here’s another seed product you can eat! (says the woman who loves steak.)

Why you don’t throw paperclips at coworkers

A new concept has been born. The website “Famousr” features simple game of wit… a binary battle, if you will.

Well. It’s really not that complicated. All you have to do is pick which celebrity is FAMOUSR! Who knew Reese Witherspoo was famousr than Jenna Jameson?

Famousr also features a “Who Is ‘That Guy’?” section. Put a name on your favorite d-list celebrity - “that guy” you just can’t seem to remember.

“The Landlord.” Read the rest of this entry »