Crunchy Mustard

Yea. I didn’t think so.

D-E-F-I-N-I-T-E-L-Y

The correct spelling is definitely.

Not definately.

Not definatly.

Not definantly.

Not definetly.

Not definently.

And certainly not defiantly.

The correct spelling is definitely.

http://www.d-e-f-i-n-i-t-e-l-y.com/

To solve this problem, I just always sing a little sylabyl song in my head when I write it. DE-FI-NITE-LY.

So election day is rolling around this Tuesday and as an American it is my civic duty to make a decision on not only which rich white man will win our various national and local seats, but some very pressing “PUBLIC QUESTIONS TO BE VOTED UPON” as well.

These are my favorite; all they require is a simple yes or no. It makes me seem like I’m actually making a difference, although I’m nearly positive it doesn’t matter whether or not I personally approve the $450 million stem cell research bond issue.

As any registered voter knows (at least in the U.S.) one will receive a preview of what the ballot is going to look like when you walk into that little booth. Everything is laid out plain and simply, so you can remember where to put your finger (genius). Scanning down the list of “QUESTIONS TO BE VOTED UPON” my mother quickly instructed me to “vote no to everything” as it only means more ridiculous tax money from my parents sent to the failing urban centers and ridiculously corrupt New Jersey government.

On to the questions…

Number 1: More property tax; no thank you. Number 2: $450 for stem cell research; let the pharmaceutical companies do it. Number 3: Green Acres, Farmland Blue acres, and Historic preservation bond act of 2007; ok fine, this one is legit.

AND FINALLY:
State Question No. 4
Constitutional amendment concerning the right to vote for certain persons.
Shall the amendment of Article II, Section I, paragraph 6 of the Constitution agreed to by the Legislature revising the current constitutional language concerning denial of the right to vote by deleting the phrase “idiot or insane person” and providing instead that a “person who has been adjudicated by a court of competent jurisdiction to lack the capacity to understand the act of voting” shall not enjoy the right of suffrage, be adopted?

Dude, you’re an idiot, you can’t vote.

I have three cats at home, so when I found this little gem on StumbleUpon, I just had to laugh. Enjoy you cat lovers (and haters too, haha)!

Thank you “CatStuff” page.

Check out this strangely hilarious video released internally within Kodak, but then later released publicly because of its popularity.

Will Kodak’s cameras be able to put together the story of my life?

Look at this gem taken by Google Earth of navy barracks in California built in the 1960s. The Navy has decided to mask the building with more landscaping… the cost? 600,000 tax-payer dollars.

Watch the CNN video of the swastika building here.

The President of Iran - HIS EXCELLENCY - Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, spoke at my dear Columbia campus today. The spectacle was quite a site. Plus, I don’t think I could have loved President Bollinger’s opening speech anymore.

It’s all better told in photos. Want the words? Head over to the “Ahmadineblog” at the Columbia Daily Spectator which I helped set up.

You’re on Flickr Mahmoud: http://www.flickr.com/photos/larac/sets/72157602137862384/

Oh, woe is me for the poor soul who sets up a bank account for this e-mail scam.

Mr. Thomas George.
Linkage Management Solutions, U.K

Hello

I am Mr. Thomas George, the Auditor General, Linkage Management Solutions Limited UK . In the course of my auditing, I discovered a floating fund in an account which was opened in 1990 belonging to a dead foreigner Late Mr.Robert ,who died in 1999. Every effort made to track any member of his family or next of kin has since failed;hence I got in contact with you to stand as his next of kin since you bear the same last name. He died leaving no heir or a will. My intention is to transfer this sum of $15.5M in the aforementioned account to a safe account overseas. I am therefore proposing that you quietly partner with me and provide an account or set up a new one that will serve the purpose of receiving this fund. For your assistance in this venture, I am ready to part with 30% of the entire funds to you. After going through the deceased person’s records and files, I discovered that:
(1) No one has operated this account since 1999
(2) He died without an heir; hence the money has been floating.
(3) No other person knows about this account and there was no known beneficiary.

If I do not remit this money urgently, it would be forfeited and subsequently converted to company’s funds which will benefit only the directors of my firm. This money can be approved to you legally as with all the necessary documentary approvals in your name. However, you would be required to show some proof of claim which I will provide you with and also guide you on how to make your applications.

Please do give me a reply so that I can send you detailed information on the modalities of my proposition. I completely trust you to keep this proposition absolutely confidential. Kindly forward your telephone and fax numbers where I can reach you easily. I look forward to your prompt response.
Best Regards,
Mr. Thomas George