Crunchy Mustard

Oh, woe is me for the poor soul who sets up a bank account for this e-mail scam.

Mr. Thomas George.
Linkage Management Solutions, U.K

Hello

I am Mr. Thomas George, the Auditor General, Linkage Management Solutions Limited UK . In the course of my auditing, I discovered a floating fund in an account which was opened in 1990 belonging to a dead foreigner Late Mr.Robert ,who died in 1999. Every effort made to track any member of his family or next of kin has since failed;hence I got in contact with you to stand as his next of kin since you bear the same last name. He died leaving no heir or a will. My intention is to transfer this sum of $15.5M in the aforementioned account to a safe account overseas. I am therefore proposing that you quietly partner with me and provide an account or set up a new one that will serve the purpose of receiving this fund. For your assistance in this venture, I am ready to part with 30% of the entire funds to you. After going through the deceased person’s records and files, I discovered that:
(1) No one has operated this account since 1999
(2) He died without an heir; hence the money has been floating.
(3) No other person knows about this account and there was no known beneficiary.

If I do not remit this money urgently, it would be forfeited and subsequently converted to company’s funds which will benefit only the directors of my firm. This money can be approved to you legally as with all the necessary documentary approvals in your name. However, you would be required to show some proof of claim which I will provide you with and also guide you on how to make your applications.

Please do give me a reply so that I can send you detailed information on the modalities of my proposition. I completely trust you to keep this proposition absolutely confidential. Kindly forward your telephone and fax numbers where I can reach you easily. I look forward to your prompt response.
Best Regards,
Mr. Thomas George

Computer geeks and gadget-crazies across the world felt a punch to the stomach this morning.

At 10:45 PDT Steve Jobs announced that the 8GB iPhone will be reduced from $599 to $399.

“OH HELL NO!” … I know what you iPhone owners are screaming. Yes, yes you just saw $200 wash away in front of you so you could hold the God phone in your hands a few months before everyone else.

Do no fret, I am one of those tools.

Also announced was a new iPod which will allow users to take advantage of the same touch-screeniness and side-ways flips that only iPhone users had until now. It will run at a variety of sizes and will also have wifi and iTunes Store capability. This new gadget will be christened the “iPhone touch…”

For those still not interested in the touch screen, there is an updated “classic” iPod in new and improved storage sizes. The iPod nano has also been reshaped to provide video viewing.

An even more fantastic display of toolery is Apple’s recent partnership with Starbucks. New iPod (and iPhone users) will see a 5th button appear in their iTunes music store which will allow them to listen to the latest song playing in the coffee cafe and download it.

Fantastic.

Source: CrunchGear!

**UPDATE** I just heard from a friend that all iPhone owners will receive a $100 rebate. Those who bought the phone within the past 14 days will receive a $200 rebate.

Ok ladies… you’re probably the only ones with me on this one. But, how many times have you treated a stick of deodorant like it’s a piece of dynamite?

Deodorant has the power to ruin an outfit or even a night for that matter. (You know those lone white marks that seem to show up only after you’re very far away from any sort of cleaner.)

And yes, yes, there’s always that nifty trick of rubbing the same piece of fabric over the white spot of doom to make it rub off and disappear… but we know this doesn’t work on all fabrics.

So what measures do you take to prepare yourself against the dangers of deodorants? Put it on after you have your top all set? Buy the special “no white marks!” brand (we all know this is a scam.) Or my favorite: The cotton top shimmy.

Cross posted at our news blog:

We’re finally back after some God-awful downtime within the past few days due to some ridiculous name server issues with a new domain company. The lesson? Never switch away from companies that may charge a bit more, but are simply the best and most professional around.

Thank you for your patience!

As a side note for those of you that may follow my design company Blog What? Design, we are having major DNS issues with our new registrar. It’s a mess. So basically, it may be 36 hours before I get things worked out.

(P.S. Remind me never to go with a MASSIVE hosting/domain company again. And shout out to hostingmatters.com for the most amazing hosting EVER!)

In this photo we see the fantastic Russian President Vladimir Putin as he fishes in the Yenisei River in Siberia. Mr. Poopin was touring the area with Prince Albert II of Monaco.

More you say? OK!

Want to learn the work out YOU NEED for Vladimir’s hot bod? Pick up your local copy of Komsomolskaya Pravda.

Meanwhile, (in news that actually matters) I was able to get my hands on a copy of Blowing Up Russia: The Secret Plot to Bring Back KGB Terror (sadly only signed by one of the authors). My parents were fortunate enough to attend an interview with Mr. Yuri Felshtinsky. The coauthor, Alexander Litvinenko was poisoned with a hideously lethal dose of polonium-210 by the resurging “KGB” (aka the FSB) of Russian.

Understanding the total devolution Russian is undergoing is mind-numbingly hideous. They’re stepping right back into their Soviet past, and this book does an excellent job of pointing out every Russian misstep the world is missing.

From the editorial note at Amazon:

Blowing Up Russia contains the allegations of ex-spy Alexander Litvinenko against his former spymasters in Moscow which led to his being murdered in London in November 2006. In the book he and historian Yuri Felshtinsky detail how since 1999 the Russian secret service has been hatching a plot to return to the terror that was the hallmark of the KGB. Vividly written and based on Litvinenko’s 20 years of insider knowledge of Russian spy campaigns, Blowing Up Russia describes how the successor of the KGB fabricated terrorist attacks and launched a war. Writing about Litvinenko, the surviving co-author recounts how the banning of the book in Russia led to three earlier deaths.

A bit more about Litvienko and Putin:

This book is not about the murder of Alexander Litvinenko. But it is the book that got him murdered. If you imagine Russia as a nation on the mend from its communist sickness, think again. The former KGB and FSB operative (Litvienko) and his academic friend (Felshtinsky) published their book in Russia and it enraged Don Vito Putin. […] As Litvenko lay dying he wrote the following to Putin:

“You may succeed in silencing me but that silence comes at a price. You have shown yourself to be as barbaric and ruthless as your most hostile critics have claimed.

“You have shown yourself to have no respect for life, liberty or any civilized value.”

And more:

BOOM! - In late 2003 nearly 4,500 copies of this book were seized and confiscated by the Russian Secret Service (FSB) as they tried to make their way from Latvia printing presses into Moscow. And no wonder. This book focuses on how elements of the old Soviet regime sought to steer Russia away from the liberal reforms since the fall of the old USSR. The multiple apartment bombings which ripped across the country in 1999, killing hundreds, were more than suspicious. The ‘terrorists’ were condemned and the tragedies quickly used as an excuse to drag Russia into a second wretched war with Chechnya which continues to this day. The book’s spotlight on the attempted bombing in Ryazan leaves little doubt as to who the enemy really was.

Still not convinced Russia is evil? I leave you to the 2.6 million hits at Google and La Russophobe.

I realize it has been some time since my last entry.

I assure you, I have not forgotten.

I’ve been indisposed. Away.

Not to think or to come up with fresh ideas,

But to clear the mind and rid it of old ones.

As a reader or an aspiring writer, you might be curious to know

how one goes about blogging. It’s not easy. Not at first.

As time goes on, you get the hang of it, but never at all with ease.

Writing is an art. Like all true art, it cannot be devised or thought out.

It comes from within. What words your minds spit out, that is it.

Regardless of whether or not it makes sense. Look at the title of this entry.

Do you honestly think that makes sense? Give it a closer look and you’ll find

wisdom among fools.

1. “Mom… Fluffy’s missing.”
2. “Mr. Cho, take your gloves off when you go to the bathroom!”
3. “Dad… I’ve got a piece of cardboard stuck in my teeth.”
4. Pig’s Ear Salad $5.99 (extra ear - $1.00)
5. Five flavor “chicken.”
   
6. Chinese-style fondue:
   
7. Oh… and this:
   

DON’T FORGET! Keep your fantastic figure AND your love of Chinese food.

From the geniuses at CollegeHumor (aka, the place I’ll be interning next week) comes: Internet Commenter Business Meeting.

PWWWWNEEEDDD!